Bisexuality.

I know a lot don't really know this about me because a.) it doesn't really show and b.) I am more commonly thought of as a lesbian, but I'd say, hey fella close enough. But I'm a bisexual.

Zomg iz dat 4 seriUz? Yes. Yes it is. And I don't know how most may react to this kind of things, but in my experience, most people really don't care. Because hey, I became open about this sexuality when I was in college, so I guess that doesn't mean anything. Well, most things doesn't really make any sense when you're in college. So to whoever is reading this and is still in highschool, don't worry about anything. Just don't do drugs. Idk.

Well anyways, lets get to some important points shall we? Coolness.

How did I know that I am also attracted to girls.
Well it kinda started when we were in highschool. I was friends with the prettiest girls in school and I started to be all, "Oh wow, she's really pretty and nice and attractive", but then I simply regard that as a compliment to them. Like, most of the times, whenever we are outside or we'd go to swimming parties, I often find myself just admiring their bodies. For instance, I'll just be all, "Wow damn, she looks so sexy" or "I like her boobs". But it was only up to that point because I had a boyfriend then and I'd say to him that I think blahblahblah is so pretty or she's attractive and the then boyfriend will be "Wow are you a lesbian? That's cool" so then did I realize that maybe I am in fact a lesbian. But I also like men, and dicks. So at that time it didn't really make any sense and I was so confused and I didn't have anyone to talk to.

The environment I was growing up in
Growing up, I was really close with my cousin who is a lesbian. We'd always be together because she was then helping around the house and she'd be all "My girlfriend blahblahblah" or "She's so sexy, oh all the things I can do to her". And at that point I was really clueless with all the sex and all and about being gay. So what we'll do is just talk about it like it's just a normal thing. Then the time came where I started to cut my hair really short and most of my relatives would tease me that maybe I'm a lesbian or is this friend that I'm always with my girlfriend, and my initial reaction will be "Haha what the fuck are you talking about nah she's just my friend". But the teasing always came and it pissed me off to the point that I accepted it as a fact, rather than an insult. I started reading books or posts about lesbian relationships and I admired each and every stories. But I was still attracted to guys too, so you can only imagine what I was going through and I was really afraid that nobody will accept me or think that I'm weird. So I kept it in.

Coming out.
This all happened when I was in my first year of college. I was sixteen then, and didn't really have close friends. My gay friend introduced us to these people who were a year older than us and they welcomed us instantly. They were really friendly and so fun to be with. And then this girl came up to me (let's call her A) and said, "Hey, do you smoke?". I was really taken aback because I thought she was really beautiful and I had a thing for chubby girls back then. So I said yeah and she asked for my number, and she told me that if ever I wanted to smoke with someone, I should just text her and we'll meet up somewhere near her dorm. The first few weeks I didn't text her because I was incredibly shy and kept thinking that no way will she ever like me back, so I kept hanging out with this other girl (lets call her B) who was a year older than us too and was really sweet. B was really open with how she was attracted to me and I was to her too. But things didn't really work out between us because I was really starting to like A and all that jazz.

Let's skip the part where A and I got close and just cut to the chase. I asked A if she ever thought about having a girlfriend and she said "Why are you asking me this?". So I told her that I really like her, more than I should and asked her if I could court her. Sadly she said no and said that she really needed me as her bestfriend more than anything. And the fact that she was confused about her sexuality too. So I said okay and after a few months, I had a boyfriend and we were still bestfriends. The funny thing about this really is that when she finally accepted that she was a lesbian was because she fell for my then roommate, and she told me that it was because of me did she start to think twice about her sexuality. You can only imagine how crushed I was (though I had a very healthy straight relationship back then) and I was extremely jealous. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that it's only normal to be inlove with two people at the same time and he's okay with that. But when A and my roommate didn't work out, I broke up with my then boyfriend and tried again with A.

Sure we fooled around a little, sleeping together, maybe even making out at some point (mind you no sex), and when I was almost certain that she'd take this wonderful relationship we had to another level, I asked her again. She knew me so well that she told me "Am I the reason why you broke up with Daniel?". I couldn't say that she was right because I was so surprised. But she said that she would rather have me as her sister because that was what we were. And also because she was courting this girl, who I became good friends with, and then some things happened that A and I never talked to each other again.

My point is...
Do not be afraid to be open up with your feelings. Sure I still love A because she was the first girl that I ever loved (and probably will still love), but I am also into guys. I've had some boyfriends and I like some girls nowadays, but that doesn't really define how I am as a person. If you want to come out of your "closet", then just go. There is nothing wrong with loving the same sex or both sexes of that matter. As long as you are doing it for you and you are happy about it, go for it.

I'm just hoping I made any sense towards this because hey, I'm a bisexual and I'm proud of this shit.
Pussies and dicks 4 lyf

A Little About Me

You know, as many people might actually think, nobody knows we well. I mean, sure, we might agree on some things, but in all honesty, I'm only doing that half-heartedly or simply because I like you. And this is the reason why most people find me weird or annoying because most of them don't understand what my likes are or who I am as a person.

Sure a lot may say, "You have so many friends" or "Its nice to see you get along with most people" but really, that's all misconception. I hate almost everything life has to offer. If I told you I like this or that, it's simply because I like you (as mentioned). Nobody knows me well enough to make me cry of happiness or all that jazz. So that's why I made this. And I'm really bored so hey, have a blog post.

• I like games. 

Like computer games, or console games. And I am easily impressed with those that have great graphics. Sure I have only played a few of those, mostly was when we still had a PS2, but that doesn't stop me from admiring them. I watch Let's Play videos on Youtube, on the hopes that if one day I get a hold on a game myself, I'll know what to do. But since we can't really afford to buy a console (because my dad thinks that it will make us lazy), I simply watch Pewdiepie or Cry play. And I feel happy about it because I love watching other people play.

• I may or may not be way too into movies.

Depending if it has great reviews. This is a code name for being alone. When I say I'm watching something, it only means that I don't want to talk to anyone for the next few hours or so because I enjoy being with myself. I mean, sure it's healthy to talk to people every now and then, but most people these days talk without brains. They pretty much talk about things they think have any sense, but most of the time they don't. And I find it really irritating and makes me want to slap someone in the face.

• I am materialistic.

This one goes to the guys who say they like me. Are you rich? Can you buy me things that I want? Do you have a car? Will you be able to afford feeding me in expensive restaurants whenever I want? Most people might think that I have an ugly attitude towards this but in all honesty, it's how I like it. I've pretty much grown up to having whatever it is that I want. And I intend to keep living that way. Sure I might be spoiled but then again, aren't we all? I love the idea of having money or be able to accept gifts all the time. It's what I like. It's what I want. Some people often call me a "gold digger" because I demand way too much. I'm sorry if you think that way but really, they are the ones who give willingly and if you want something back, you can just tell me. We all dream of meeting someone who's rich and handsome and live happily ever after with them and you know why? It's because you'll be living the good life. I do not want to be poor. I'm scared of that idea and if I have to, I'll work multiple jobs to achieve that. Money may be everything to me, and don't you dare tell me that this is wrong but come on, we all want this.

• I like people who are smart.

And sad to say, I know people who aren't really the brightest bulbs. I want to have a conversation with someone who makes sense and gives light to me. I don't need someone to talk to about nonsense this or that because it gets boring, tiring and irritating. I want to know many things and I don't need your bullshit regarding gossips and other shit. Enlighten me and we may be good friends for a long time.

• I  love independence.

This goes out to many areas, honestly. If someone breaks up with you, don't be naggy about how you feel incomplete, alone or worthless. I only find you pathetic. I admire people who can stand up after they fall. All I see on social networking sites are how this or that makes you remind of this person. Here's a useful tip: make new memories. Sure you need to have someone to depend on but isn't it better to have independence for once? I know a lot of people who gets to stay positive after an extreme break-up or loss in their family. You know all you can ever do is keep moving forward. Most people can only be with you the first few days of you bitching about being lonely, but after that, you're on your own. Like sheesh, grow the fuck up.

• I prefer older people.

Because I've had enough of immature, childish acts. Relationship wise, I like someone who's older than me because they are future oriented. They can settle down if they want to. Friendship wise, people who may have a lot of meaningful things to say are awesome.

• I am really into Korean shits.

Coffee Prince and korean foods always get me. I've seen Coffee Prince a countless times already and I like cooking korean food because they are unique.

• I am way too into Iron Man.

• Cleanliness is sexy.

If you are a clean person, then let me love you. If you have a clean room, I will adore you. I can only stand messiness for a short while and I am not a fan of organized mess.

• I am open with sexual things.

I may or may not have commented on how some people have asked me about my sex life, but it was only because it was annoying. I am okay with talking about sex. Ask anyone. There's nothing wrong with being too sexual. And I would like for some people to accept the fact that I am in fact a horny person.

• I am a sarcastic son of a bitch.

And most people like it that I'm very sarcastic. I don't know why they do, but I don't like it. I often respond to people this way because either a.) what they're telling me is stupid, b.) I'm not interested and c.) I hate that person. So now you know why I'm like this. I'm sorry for being like so.

• I like horror novels.

Stephen King and Poppy Brite are amazing. Not only are they amazing, but they are like no other. Very unique. Sure most of their books are gore, but that's how you test your ability to comprehend things, to see how open your mind is. I recommend that people read Exquisite Corpse. But if you can't handle gay sex or necrophilia, I guess you aint dat cool bruh.

• I like to drink.

And no I do not drink to "impress". I drink because I actually do like the taste of brandy, rum, gin, vodka and wine. I drink to meet new people and to be with friends. Sure I'm involved with the wrong people, who are drunktards just like I, but it's something I enjoy doing. I often times enjoy getting drunk (emphasis on the often). Sure because of drinking I got into this situation that I'm in, but you can't really separate a woman with her wine. Or in my case, some beer. And brandy.

• I am a hopeless romantic.

I do believe that true love awaits me somewhere along the road. Just like Mila Kunis' character in Friends With Benefits. I'm easily drawn to something that screams romance. I love the movie The Notebook and the book The Time Traveler's Wife. I often fantasize about meeting the man of my dreams (who is 6 feet tall, has nice body build, beard, nice brown eyes, wealthy and has a big dick) someday in the future, or maybe even tomorrow. I love the idea of spending my whole Saturday with a special someone, maybe just playing Skyrim, eating pizza and drinking some beer. I love doing something for someone who means so much to me. And just have kids, tattoo each other's name over our chest and get married and live somewhere with a nice view of a mountain. But no. I'm only 19 and shit ain't even gonna happen, and so far, everyone that I've been with have fucked me over, or me fucking them over. But like I said, I'm only 19. What do I know right?

Remind me to add something to this in the future.
Thanks.

Why We Aren't Friends

So I just finished watching MaxNoSleeve's video on Youtube about the things that make him say "Alas, I shall no longer acknowledge thee as a comrade" or something. If you want to watch it, then simply do so before you continue to read this one.

And I for one have the same idea of when to say "enough" to a person so I decided to make a list of what turns me off in a platonic way. Did I even make any sense? I do not know.

• When a person flirts around too much that it makes you to just say "Stop, we get it, you're 'friendly'".

I mean, for me, when a pretty girl/handsome guy who knows they can get all the men/women they want do this, it makes me sad. Kind of. I mean, okay you have all the favors on your side, but come on. Make good decisions. Don't be like that. Just don't.

• When having a conversation and you try to make snide comments, especially if they are unrelated to our topic.

Once, I met this person while drinking, and we were talking about what her course was and what she does in the said course and etc. And then, out of nowhere, she then proceeds to tell me that she thinks that this girl is a bitch. I was taken aback because a.) I'm friends with the girl she's referring as the bitch and b.) my friend wasn't. So what happened was, I asked her why she think that is and she explained, but after a few seconds, she went all "Omg my hair is so dull, like don't you think?" Omg. Seriously? I'm not really the patient person who can tolerate such actions. I prefer you shut the fuck up.

• When a person flaunts/boasts too much.

Oh you have a new bag? Yeah, I heard you say that for like 5 times now. Oh you went to a party last night though you had an exam today? Yeah I saw you tweet that like 3 times last night. Oh you're going out with this really attractive guy? Well good for you, aren't you so pretty? Oh you can't decide whether or not to use your iPhone or your Blackberry? Why not just sell the Blackberry if you constantly comment on how iPhones are the "bomb". Oh you just had sex? Cool beans. Can you unfollow a person in real life? Please let that happen.

• When a person makes everything about him/her

For example, you went out with this person and things didn't work out and then a storm comes and you tweet "The weather understands me" or "Omg it's raining because I'm sad". I mean, motherfuck-- if you mean it sarcastically, I will join you. But if you're really serious, then goodbye.

• When you start talking about animes/cartoons/tagalog shows

I'm sorry but I know a lot of people who are really into this but I'm really sorry, I'm not feeling it. So I may just stop talking to you.

• When people try to stick their noses into your beeswax, regardless of how close you are

Especially if we just met like 2 days ago and you hear my problem from my friends and you go to me and say "Dude omg you know what you should do vskgjnoigwrupioqgqwehwr". I mean, I hardly acknowledge you as my acquaintance so what can you possibly say to me that will make me care?

I'm sorry. Most of what I've typed here are really rude and somewhat offensive. But seriously, if you think about it, it's really like this simple. All the simple things make you tick off. Sorry. I still love you. Muah.